Just anouther fight
by ratgirl
Summary: the summer after GoF Harry is not handaling the situation very well, it will lighten up in fucher chapters.


Disclaimer: the world of Harry Potter does not belong to me only the plot of the story belongs to me and that is not saying much.  
  
Just Another Fight  
  
  
Harry Potter sat in his room thinking. Lately he had started to hate thinking, because no matter what he started to think about he ended up thinking about what he did not want to think about. In his mind it would all lead down to the fact (or at least he thought it was a fact) that life is not worth living and the world would be a better place if he did not exist. All in all he was not having a good time dealing with the events of the third task.  
  
Harry had decided that it would be best follow his uncle's advice and "pretend he did not exist." He spent the entire summer tacking a page out of Hermoine's book and not only doing all his homework but also memorizing his fifth year textbooks. Harry's only happy thoughts at the beginning of the summer were that of his friends but since then he had reached two conclusions the first that the only reason that they were friends with him was because he was "the Famous Harry Potter" and that they pitted him. His second conclusion was that he did not want to put them in danger no matter what there ulterior motives and that is what he was doing if he stayed friends with them. Having drawn these conclusions Harry had not replied to their owls for the past two weeks, insisting on ignoring them.  
  
As Harry read Advanced Transfiguration grade five Harry heard a taping at his window, he gowned knowing that it was one of his "friends" trying to contact him. He opened the window and a small brown owl flew in and did two circles around his head before sitting on Harry's bed.  
  
Before even opening the letter Harry knew that the it was from his friend Ron. Harry reluctantly opened the letter and read:  
  
Harry  
Where are you? I have not heard from you since before your birthday, I'm worried. Dumbledore has assured us that nothing had happened to you so the only explanation is that you are purposely ignoring us. Stop It. Well you can't for much longer because we are picking you up at 12:00 Friday, whether you like it or not. We will be coming by car so see you then. Please write.  
-Ron  
  
Harry knew better than to try and refuse the invitation, so he pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote in response " It is ok you can use a Portkey if you want" knowing full well that  
it would be easier then driving and that the reason for them not suggesting it was because they knew that his last experience with one would not be forgotten easily.  
  
  
On Friday Harry acted as if it were a normal day, he had not told the Dursleys that he was leaving. Harry packed up his school things after breakfast and then at 11:30 he went down stares to tell the Dursleys that he was to be picked up. The Dursleys recalling the last time that Harry was picked up by a wizard screamed at Harry until he reassured them (as much as is humanly possible when you are speaking to the Dursleys about the wiserding world) that it would be nothing like it was last time.  
  
At 11:59 the doorbell rang and Uncle Vernon reluctantly went to answer it. At  
the door stood Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and Uncle Vernon screamed into the living room "it's THEM boy"  
  
Harry knowing what his Uncle meant gathered his things and went to the door. At  
the sight of Mr. and Mrs. friendly faces the sides of Harry's mouth lifted into the closeted thing to a smile that his face had portrayed in weeks. Mrs. Weasley put her arms around him in a motherly hug that lasted nearly a minute before Uncle Vernon yelled at them to get out.  
  
Leaving the house Harry noticed that they had in fact brought a car. Mrs. Weasley having just let go of him enplaned that they had a portkey if he really wanted to use it but they felt they should bring a car too and anyways Mr.Weasley wanted an excuse to drive a car.  
  
Harry stated that as long as the car was there they might as well use it. Harry found that try as he might not to be he was actually relieved that he did not have to use a Portkey.  
  
It was a long drive to the Borrow and Harry was relived to find that conversation, though striated was better than the thinking that Harry would be doing otherwise. Harry did his best to avoid topics that had anything to do in the slightest way to Voldemort, and this worked seeing as the Weasleys were doing the same.  
  
Harry had not told anyone all the events of the third task since the night he had told Dumbledore and Sirius, not only because it would hurt him but also because, use he wanted to protect all others from the horrors that he had experienced.  
  
A few hours, and much Quidditch talk, later Harry along with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley arrived at the Borrow and were greeted by many smiling red heads. They all sat down to Tea and had the same stained polite conversation that had occurred in the car.  
  
After Tea Ron took Harry to get settled in his room and talk, but it did not go exactly as Ron may have hoped. After setting down his things and an extremely brief time of trying to make conversation Harry told Ron that he was tired and that he would just like to sleep. Ron reluctantly obeyed his wishes and left Harry alone.  
  
Harry telling Ron that he was tired and wanted to sleep was the truth but Harry  
know that no matte how tired he was he probubly would not be able to sleep, he just needed to be alone for he was not used to talking to people. Harry was wrong that he would not sleep though for sleep finally caught up with him.  
  
A mere hour later though Harry awoke screaming having had the dream of the third task that he so often has had. Quickly Harry stopped screaming realizing that if someone heard him he would have to explain about the nightmares and that would not be good. However it was too late for the next minute Ron and Ginny both came running into the room with terrified looks on their faces asking as to whether he is ok.  
  
Harry quickly spurted out that he was fine and had only had a bad dream, but the worried looks on their faces did not subside. After Ron had asked for the thousandth time whether it was one of "those" dreams (to the confusion of Ginny), and Harry assuring him that it was not, Ron stated that they should go out and play some Quidditch to get their minds off things.  
  
The minute that Harry's feet left the ground he felt better then he had since before the third task, he had missed Quidditch so much last year when it had been canceled for the - No! He was not going to think about that, he was just going to have a good time flying his broom. Harry and Ginny played chaser, Ron keeper agents Fred as Keeper and Gorge as Chaser (though the other team had a feeling that they had switched a few times.) Having the larger team the younger team won by quite a bit.  
  
After about an hour of Quidditch and the practice of the boys and girl went inside for dinner. The conversation was not quite as thence as it ad been earlier in the day but still not even close to what it had been just the year earlier.  
  
Before going to sleep Ron told Harry that Hermoine would be coming in a week to spend the last week and a half at the borrow. Harry fell asleep that night thinking about the conclusions that he had drawn about his friends, they were his true friends but this made it even more hopeless, it put them in more danger, they would die for him and he did not believe that he was even close to worth that. With these thoughts Harry went into a fitful sleep.  
  
Harry awoke in the middle of the night but this time he did not know why, he had had no nightmares, and his scar was not hurting he was merely awoken by thoughts, but the thoughts were worse than any nightmare. His thoughts were on how much better the world would be if he were not around, his friends would be safe, Voldemort would not have re-risen, and most of all his mum and Cedric would still be living. He could not bear the thought that others may die because of him. He had his mind made up, he would have to die to prevent further tragedy.  
  
Harry crept downstairs trying not to make a sound. He made his way to the kitchen and found what he was looking for a, sharp knife. He walked out of the house and into the yard not wanting to make a mess, he took the knife and made a deep gash in each wrist, the pain was so intense that he dropped the knife. Streams of scarlet rushing from his arms, he could stand no more, he dropped to his knees it was all he could do not to scream in pain, the world was growing dim, he saw a figure dash toward his but them the world went black.   
  
  
  
  



End file.
